


When Things Are Normal But It Feels Wrong

by sue-taguchique (peteyjared92)



Series: Blackberries and Vanilla~ [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 19:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11607210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peteyjared92/pseuds/sue-taguchique
Summary: Kihyun realized that Minhyuk's absence in his and Hoseok's life feels wrong. He know he shouldn't feel this way, but he did.





	When Things Are Normal But It Feels Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I started to pursue this series. This has been written quite some times but I'm having second thoughts about posting it up. But anyway, please do enjoy this one from me. 
> 
> And advance apologies if there's any mistake done throughout this fic. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are much love =D
> 
> Also, do let me know if there's any suggestion or feedback. Who knows it might triggers my dead writer's brain to write on the next series, if ever it happens. xD

Minhyuk looked out from the window of his apartment. The rain was tapping softly on the open window. He saw how mothers were sending their children off. He propped his elbow on the railings of the window, resting his chin on his palm. Suddenly he missed working in the childcare. 

Summer was slowly bidding goodbye and the monsoon is approaching soon. Lucky him, there isn’t much differences in Tokyo than in Seoul itself. He got used to the quiet lifestyle here, not like as if he’s not used to staying alone back in Korea. 

He let out a sigh, wondering how is everyone doing back in Korea. And by everyone, he meant Kihyun… And Hoseok. He wondered if Hoseok is doing well, if Kihyun is taking good care of him. If they are still as happy as how they used to be. 

Minhyuk shifted his gaze, overlooking his phone just on his workstation. He wondered if Hoseok will picked up his call if he calls this time round. He wanted to hear Hoseok’s voice badly, but he doesn't want to be a bother to Hoseok. Not after Hoseok told him off 2 months ago. 

 

 

Kihyun shifted in his bed, only to see Hoseok’s sleeping figure beside him. He was still soundly asleep. His fringe was long enough, covering his face as he was lying down on the pillow. 

Kihyun let out a sigh. Nothing feels right these days. 

And the fact that he couldn’t sense anything blackberries on Hoseok these days disturbs him. 

It's funny. He shouldn't be feeling this way but he did. He should be that evil boyfriend who got so happy that he have Hoseok to himself again. But no. That's not how he feels like. 

He got up from the bed, letting his legs hang over the side of the bed. He yawned, scratching the back of his head as he thought about his schedule for the day. He cursed himself, more like his day for being so busy. Meetings after meetings with client and he could tell that he will end late again today. 

And it worries him because Minhyuk is not around and Hoseok will be alone. 

Fuck. He cursed himself again. That shouldn't be his train of thoughts. 

As he was about to head for the toilet, he heard his phone rang from the nightstand. He stared at it, almost cursing again because it might be from work. But the moment he saw Minhyuk’s name flashing on the screen, he raised one of his eyebrows. 

It's either Minhyuk is drunk or something happened to him. 

But then again, who drinks as early as 7:15am? 

Kihyun walked out from the room with his ringing phone and as he closed the door behind him, he answered the call, pausing by the line waiting for the other to say something, but he didn't. 

“What is it that is in your mind early morning that you have to disturb my sleep?” Kihyun asked, trying to sound annoyed but he didn't meant it. Sometimes he just doesn't want Minhyuk to know that he worries alot about him. He heard Minhyuk giggling at the other end of the line. 

“You are not someone to sleep in on a weekdays.” Minhyuk replied, pointing out the fact and sometimes, Kihyun hated how much Minhyuk knows about him. 

“So speak. What can I help you with? It's so rare for you to call me and the last time I checked, you haven't been contacting me for a month.” Kihyun stated. There was another pause at the other end of the line. Kihyun could definitely tell that there is something wrong with Minhyuk. 

“Naah. I just missed your annoying and cold self. That's why I called.” Minhyuk muttered and Kihyun knows that he is not okay. He had known Lee Minhyuk for years and this is definitely Minhyuk at his lowest. 

“Do you need us there, Minhyuk?” Kihyun asked. He couldn't stop the sound of worries from escaping his voice. 

“Eh no. I'm doing good here. Everything is well and I'm fine.” Once again, Minhyuk lied, Kihyun told himself. He let out a sigh, leaning his back on the kitchen counter. 

“Well, make sure you don't overwork yourself today despite how busy you are. I'm heading to a museum exhibition soon. So yeah.” Minhyuk continued, forcing all the excitement in him to be heard. 

“You too, take care. And please text me once in awhile. Don't just disappear like that.” Kihyun pointed out. He heard another giggling from the other side of the line. 

“No promises, but I try. Talk to you soon, best friend.” 

And honestly, Kihyun does missed Minhyuk. He let out another sighed as he ended the call. He stared at his phone screen blankly, half contemplating and half stoning. He didn't even realized that Hoseok walked out from the room, heading towards the kitchen. He yawned as he opened the fridge’s door. 

“Ki, are you okay?” He asked, looking at Kihyun while he gobbled down a bottle of water. Kihyun startled, turning his head to look at his boyfriend. 

It's something that shouldn't be in his mind but he’ll give it a try. 

“Babe, can you do me a favour?” Hoseok hesitated, because Kihyun had never asked him anything before, not even an errands or favour. It's weird that he is hearing this now and he doesn't know if he should be scared or not. 

“I might need to travel out for a client's meeting but it clashes with another client's meeting in Japan. I need you to attend it for me.” Kihyun lied, and he hoped that Hoseok did not see through his lies. Because he is not as transparent as Minhyuk. Hoseok blinked, his hands putting back the bottle of water in the fridge. He walked towards Kihyun and stood in front of him, sliding his arms around Kihyun's waist. 

“You sure you're okay with me attending it?” Hoseok asked. His eyes were staring back into Kihyun's, looking all soft and Kihyun felt bad for lying. 

But he is doing this for Minhyuk. And for Hoseok. On his own judgement. 

And he is thankful that Hoseok and his work are aligned. Besides, Hoseok isn't as busy as Kihyun at that moment as Hoseok had just finished a major project a week ago. 

“Both are equally important and I can't afford to miss it. No one's able to cover for me either. I'm so sorry.” Kihyun saw Hoseok smiled as he brushed Kihyun's hair. 

“Don’t worry, Ki. I'll attend it for you. You just settle what you need to do.” Hoseok said, sending kisses on Kihyun's forehead. 

Kihyun's heart was beating fast, somehow satisfied that his plan works. Maybe he can rest now, and if things went wrong, he could mentally prepare himself to get screw up by Hoseok. 

 

 

Hoseok felt something was off the moment he arrived in an apartment looking building. He stared at the address in his hand, wondering if the taxi driver sent him to the right place. One thing he hated about finding a building in Tokyo is the lack of information on the building itself. And he have to rely on the postal code. 

Apparently, the postal code is right this time round. 

Hoseok frowned. Then he thought to himself. It might be a home-based office. Yeah. And that soothes his little heart. 

With his joyful heart (because he felt accomplish in helping Kihyun), Hoseok got on the lift and went to the floor as stated in the address. He walked up the corridor, heading towards the right unit number. 

It didn't feels right when his nose captured something familiar. He stopped midway, inches away from the unit. 

He knocked his head, smiling sheepishly. Someone in the world, probably the person behind the door, might have similar perfume as Minhyuk. Hoseok blinked on the thoughts of the name. Clearly, he had been burying that name deep down in his memory box, trying not to remember, in turn hurting himself. 

But the moment he was about to knock on the door, his heart decided to knock too, thumping so hard that Hoseok felt it was about to explode. He saw how the door swung open from the inside, seeing Minhyuk standing behind the door. He stunned, eyes grew big, just like how Hoseok’s were. 

The blackberries scent got dominant and Hoseok hates to admit that he misses it, so much. 

“Hyung, how do you know my apartment?” Minhyuk asked, breaking the silence between them. Hoseok couldn’t make out what is Minhyuk’s expression; surprised, or probably scared that things would go bad. 

Hoseok couldn't expressed himself either but he relaxed. If Kihyun tricked him to come here, he must have a good reason for it. Hoseok flashed a smile. 

“Kihyun sent me here, unknowingly.” Hoseok replied, definite of the answer despite hearing it from Kihyun himself. Hoseok saw how Minhyuk rolled his eyes. 

“I told him I'll be fine and I don't need anyone.” Minhyuk muttered as he walked into his apartment, forgetting about his intention to buy food from the convenience store. He walked into the kitchen, somehow forgotten the fact that it's Hoseok’s first time in his Japan apartment. And Hoseok being Hoseok, self invited himself into the house and closed the door behind, like he is used to the whole apartment. 

Minhyuk passed Hoseok a drink that he had poured into a cup. Hoseok realized that he couldn’t raised his gaze to meet Minhyuk’s. 

“You must be tired from the flight.” Minhyuk's voice was small. Hoseok smiled again and took it from Minhyuk, thanking him. Minhyuk’s eyes were searching for Hoseok’s luggage but probably, will ask about it later. 

And maybe it's a good sign that Hoseok wouldn't be crashing at his place because Minhyuk realized all of these are still a little awkward for him. 

“I was about to go out and grab something for dinner. Maybe you want to take a seat first and I shall run to the convenience store to get something for us.” Minhyuk found a reason, which wasn't a lie either because he had an intention of doing so. As he was about to dash out of the house, Hoseok stopped him, pulling his wrist. Hoseok got up to his feet and hugged Minhyuk, burying his face in the crook of Minhyuk’s shoulder. He couldn't believed that he missed this, and all these while this was what went wrong in his life. 

“Just stay… Like this…” Hoseok muttered under his breath. Minhyuk startled. As much as he wanted to return back the hug, he couldn’t. 

“But hyung…” Minhyuk trailed off, couldn't find the right word to say. Hoseok moved away, he brushed Minhyuk’s hairs, eyes filled with softness and passion just like how Minhyuk remembers them. 

“I'm sorry, Min. I was just deciding based on my intuition. I don't want you to give up on your dreams because of me.” Hoseok said, a faint smile appeared on his lips. His fingers were caressing Minhyuk’s cheek, which Minhyuk couldn't help but to lean in to the warmth. 

“But you are my dream too… And I wouldn't want to let you go either.” Minhyuk said, just above whisper. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, just like the first time he met Hoseok. Hoseok smiled again, the side of his lips raised up first. 

“You really are clingy and possessive.” Hoseok pointed out and poke Minhyuk’s nose to which Minhyuk winced. He couldn't really tell if Hoseok meant well or otherwise. 

And maybe, Hoseok regretted saying that about Minhyuk, despite how true it is. Fitting in Minhyuk's small bed is a problem, but the bigger problem lies in dealing with Minhyuk himself. Not like as if Hoseok not used to it, but Minhyuk is always playful and whiny when he is with Hoseok. 

Just when Hoseok was about to fall asleep, he felt something chilly brushing on his arm. He opened his eyes slowly, only to see Minhyuk sitting beside him, doodling something on his hand. 

“Min, I'm not your canvas. And I have an early flight tomorrow.” Hoseok said, voice half asleep. When he saw Minhyuk’s satisfaction smile on his lips, Hoseok raised his arms to see what did he doodled and Hoseok just had to roll his eyes after seeing it. 

_Minhyuk’s._

Hoseok got up from the bed, hearing how Minhyuk was laughing. He headed towards the toilet and wanting to wash it off but the moment he realized the ink wouldn't comes out, even after scrubbing it, he clicked his tongue. 

“It will come off after 3 days. Don't worry. It's safe for all type of skins.” Hoseok heard Minhyuk’s voice from behind. Hoseok turned around, seeing how mischievous Minhyuk looked as he leaned by the side of the door, snickering. And when Hoseok started to chase Minhyuk around the room, his laughter grew louder, filling up the initially quiet room. 

And maybe, just maybe Hoseok regretted tussling Minhyuk onto the bed, tickling him till the younger lost his breath. But he didn't regretted kissing Minhyuk because he had been craving for those, missing every curves of Minhyuk’s lips. He ignored how Minhyuk’s fingernails were digging into his bare skin, creating trails of its own. He let Minhyuk sucked on his nape, ignoring the pain he inflicted, ignoring how it could leave super red marks. 

He wanted to make Minhyuk his again. For the second time. And maybe forever. 

And he wouldn't mind being Minhyuk’s either. 

Hoseok's lips curved upward watching how Minhyuk sent kisses down his chest. His eyes were staring back into Hoseok’s, filled with lust. Hoseok ran his hand on Minhyuk’s locks, pulling them softly. 

“Just so you know, you're still sharing me with Kihyun.” 

And maybe, just maybe Hoseok regretted saying that. He felt Minhyuk’s sharp teeth biting the side of his body, almost piercing through his rib cage. 

Hoseok gave up. Probably, leaving Minhyuk for several months turned him into a wild puppy. 

 

 

Kihyun focused on his paperwork, ignoring the vibration of his phone. It sent waves to his cup of coffee which was just beside his phone, creating ripples just like that of an aftermath of an earthquake. Usually, Kihyun wouldn't care much about calls or messages at that particular hour because he knew it wouldn't come from anyone important. 

It was lunch time. Kihyun was at one of his favourite cafe, getting something to munch on, his cuppa coffee and doing his paperwork at the same time. 

So who would ring him up at this particular hour? Hoseok knows it's a block period and usually, if Hoseok is around town, he would just join Kihyun at any point of time. 

Minhyuk’s name suddenly appeared in Kihyun's head. He stopped writing, stared at his phone for awhile like as if he could read it through. He squinted his eyes and reached for his phone. Before he could actually unlocked his phone, he saw a figure slid into the seat opposite him, recognizing that it's none other than Minhyuk. 

“You need to slow down in life, best friend.” Minhyuk muttered, placing his wallet and phone on the table. Kihyun smiled, those unbelievable smile that he always had when he's surprised. 

“I'm not hallucinating, aren't I?” Kihyun asked, putting his phone down without even checking it. Minhyuk shook his head, his eyes were staring at the menu from behind the counter. 

“I just followed Hoseok Hyung back because he was whining on how he is going to meet you in that kind of situation. Apparently, he chickened out.” Kihyun squinted his eyes, couldn't really catch what Minhyuk was saying. 

“Is Hoseok Hyung a masochist when he's with you?” Minhyuk shifted his gaze to Kihyun and Kihyun couldn't believe that they are finally having an open talk on this; on their relationship with Hoseok. Kihyun turned red and shushed Minhyuk up, fearing that the other tables heard their conversation. 

“You don't have to say it out loud… In public…” Kihyun replied, almost about whisper. He was still giving Minhyuk the unbelievable smile. 

“So he is…” Minhyuk said, slowly nodding his head, acknowledging what Kihyun said. 

“According to Hoseok Hyung, I am clingy and got a little needy so I sorta made a canvas out of him. Please excuse my artwork.” Minhyuk continued. Kihyun blinked, maybe, he have to see it to understand what Minhyuk is referring to but judging by the fact that Hoseok chickened out, it might be the same situation as to when Kihyun first found out about them. 

Kihyun smiled, shaking his head a little thinking about how much Minhyuk doesn't changed. From the time that he had known Minhyuk. He picked the pen back up from the table and starting to work on his paperwork again, ignoring Minhyuk who was still deciding on what to get from the menu. 

“Hey Kihyun…” Minhyuk called out, soft and lovable. Kihyun looked up from his glasses which was lying on the bridge of his nose. Usually when Minhyuk called him by his name, he knew Minhyuk had something serious to say. 

“Don't you want to start working things out? You know… You and me…? How long are we gonna stay like this and just deal with it?” Minhyuk suggested. Kihyun was taken aback by how serious Minhyuk sounded. The last time he remembered seeing this side of Minhyuk was before the said guy flied off to Japan to continue his studies. 

“I didn't thought you would ask me again, after being with Hoseok.” Kihyun pointed out, putting his pen down again. 

“I always had a feeling that you care about me… Maybe more than a friend. And you know well enough how much I've been in love with you back then.” Minhyuk stated. It sent shivers down Kihyun's spine. He couldn't believed that he is having this kind of conversation with Minhyuk, at this particular point of time. 

“I can assure you that if you date me, I'll continue to love you as much as I did last time.” Kihyun smiled to that. He realized it's true that Minhyuk haven't really forgotten about his intention of letting Kihyun go, of chasing Kihyun down till his feelings are returned back. 

Maybe, the blackberries scent got Kihyun intoxicated, to which Kihyun didn't know why he agreed to Minhyuk’s idea. 

It couldn't be the thoughts of Hoseok. It couldn't be the thoughts that Hoseok is dating Minhyuk and he should too. 

But maybe. Minhyuk is right. How long are they going to run away from each other, to pretend that they are just friends when there is actually more to it between them. 

And maybe, Kihyun regretted saying yes to Minhyuk’s idea after seeing Hoseok back at home. The dark red hickey that was covering Hoseok's nape, that ‘Minhyuk's' writing on his arms and probably thousands of bites somewhere else made Kihyun rethought his decision. And definitely, Hoseok's “I can explain” is not helping.


End file.
